The 100 Foot Journey to the Expendables

I was bored this morning. I’ve spent my week off from work working on my writing and marathoning One Piece and Hell’s Kitchen. (I finished the Alabasta arc again and 6 seasons of Hell’s Kitchen. Really.) But since this was my last day, and I had no money to do much of anything and no gas to go much of anywhere, I decided to go to the mall.

I was driving along listening to Fantastic Baby by Big Bang, and trying to sing along, although I don’t speak a word of Korean, when I realized I’d missed the turn to take me to Farmington, and was instead in Canton. So I thought, I’ll go to the bookstore, and then maybe hit the mall after.

But the bookstore sucked me in, as usual, and I spent longer there than I realized, so I thought I’d just go a few more minutes down the road, to the movie theater in Avon, and see The Expendables 3. I was kind of surprised to find that it wasn’t playing there, but since I was there already, I went to see The Hundred Foot Journey.

100 foot

Very enjoyable, a feel-good movie as you’d expect from the trailers. I liked that the French characters would slip into French, and the Indian characters into what I presume was Hindi, and they did NOT use subtitles. They were unnecessary; you just knew what they were saying anyway.

So it was over, and I was about to head back home, when I had a thought. I googled, and yes, indeed, Expendables 3 was playing at the theater in my hometown. And by the time I would get there, it would close to the next start time. So I went to see that, too.

It was what I’d hoped for. A joyful, testosterone fueled (yes, even with the first female Expendable joining the team) mixed martial arts brawl, with body armor and Really Big Guns, a tank or twelve, ‘get to the choppa’, and Mel Gibson surprisingly believable as a bad guy.

I was a bit disappointed that once again Jet Li had such a small role, and you had to wait nearly 3/4 of the film before he even showed up, and then when he did he only had 3 lines. Maybe 4. (And they left me wondering if the ‘get a room’ with Arnold was serious or a joke)

But for me, the movie was MADE by the newest Expendable – Galgo, played by Antonio Banderas. I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed AB more than in this role. Every single line he had made me laugh, and there was one line I couldn’t quite catch because of the gunfire and the accent, and I was almost mad that I couldn’t stop the movie and rewind so I could hear it again, because it was probably freaking hilarious and I missed it.

I know it’s been getting panned, but who needs a plot? I quite loved it.

expendables 3

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