Yo Joe!

Just got back from seeing G.I. Joe: Retaliation, and went online to see what others thought of it. I was slightly disappointed in the reviews I found.

Was I the only person to enjoy this film? I love action movies, and I love martial arts movies, and I love military movies. I also have a soft spot for good looking men in all of those. G.I. Joe had all that, and a couple of very gorgeous women for others to ogle at. (Although I will admit one of the women was there for no apparent reason – since I’m not familiar with the Joe world, I will assume she has a part in future stories, since they inducted her into the Joes at the end…Oh! Was that a spoiler??)

WARNING!! A few more possible spoilers ahead!!

John McClane Bruce Willis has a small part, and a couple of good lines.

willis

Colton/McClane

Dwayne Johnson is appropriately large and tattooed.

dwaynejohnson

(He didn’t smile this much in the movie)

Channing Tatum, from Magic Mike, which I have NOT seen (yet), leads the Joes into action.

tatum

Duke/Mike. Duke Mike?

Ray Park, one-time Sith Lord, is the silent yet deadly Snake Eyes, (I kept wanting to call him Cyclops) and had one of the best battles ever, atop a mountainside somewhere (Tibet? Dunno) fighting a band red-clad ninjas on apparently endless zip-lines, while carrying a body and wielding a sword. (Do they really have zip-lines at Tibetan monasteries?

park

Snake Eyes Over Maul

And the zip-line-monastary-mountain-ninja battle.

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION

Okay, here’s the ladies of Joe. Gorgeous, and they can kick ass, too.

G.I. JOE: RETALIATION jinx

Adrienne Palicki as Lady Jaye and Elodie Yung as Jinx

OK. So we have explosions, Bruce Willis, Channing Tatum, The Rock, two beautiful, deadly women, a bad guy in a mask Did I mention the bad guys? No? Sorry.

There’s a bad guy. His name is Commander Something-Or-Other. J/K, it’s Cobra Commander. Oh, and Jonathon Pryce gets to play two roles – the President of the United States, tied up, beaten and tortured, and Zartan masquerading as the President, slimy and yet somehow fun, even as he pushes the button to launch World War 3.

And finally, my favorite part of the whole film. I have, as some of you know, a fondness for fictional ninjas. So I leave you with Lee Byung-hun as Storm Shadow. You can click on this one to open full size, should you like.

Enjoy.

stormshadow

Listening to: Illness Illusion – GACKT – Mars album

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