Fran LaPlaca   fantasy author

ME: “It comes to $32.55.”
Fairly Ordinary Looking Customer: “Canadian?”
Me: “Canadian money? No, sorry.”
Fairly Ordinary Looking Customer: “No, are YOU Canadian?”
Me: “Uh…no.”
FOLC: “British?”
Me: “No.”
(wondering what in my New England accent has brought on this odd conversation. Customer no longer looks Fairly Ordinary)
NotSoOrdinary Customer: “But you said ‘Ey’.”
Me: “No, I didn’t.”
NSOC: “Yes, you did. You said ‘It comes to $32.55, ‘ey.’ Only Canadians and British people say that.”
Me: “No. I really didn’t.”
FSLC: (fairly strange looking customer) Yes, you did. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Me: “I wouldn’t be ashamed to be Canadian, but I didn’t say that.”
FSLC: “Yes, you did.”
Me: “Okay, well, I’m sorry, but I’m not from Canada.”
RSLC: (really strange looking customer) “You did say it.”
Me, laughing now at the absurdity of it all: “I totally didn’t.”
So he goes to my boss and insists I be retrained, that I don’t know what I’m doing, and we have too many carriages in the parking lot and a bunch of other stuff I don’t remember now. It’s hard to retain memories when you’re torn between two countries, after all.